This Watch You Gave Me

This Watch You Gave Me…I loved it.

It was the best thing I had ever owned.

You may not have thought about it, but it was in the perfect shade of red, my favourite colour.

Up till then, no one but my mother had ever bought me a watch!

This Watch You Gave Me…I wore it everyday.

I’m a watch wearer, I’m one of those people that feels naked and incomplete if I leave the house without my watch, but that was not the only reason I wore This Watch You Gave Me.

I wore it everyday because you gave it to me and every time I looked at it, it constantly reminded me of you.

I no longer wear it for this same reason.

This Watch You Gave Me…I now carry around in my bag.

Still within reach, but out of sight.

It does not matter that I feel awkward without a watch on my wrist, I’ve gotten used to living without other things I thought I’d never have to live without, what is a watch, right?

I only take it out when my phone is dead and there’s no one around me that can tell me the time. Or when the exam period is nigh at school…I hate sitting in an exam with no sense of how much time has passed or how much time is left. Or, I occasionally just make peace with having no sense of time and ignore the fact that I carry around a watch in my bag everywhere I go.

This Watch You Gave Me…brings me great pain every time I look at it.

I remember how at one time it was the only watch I ever wanted to own. How I was prepared to have it repaired and repaired and patched and stitched and super-glued every time signs of ageing showed up on it.

Once this started to seem improbable, I played around with the idea of replacing it with one that was exactly the same, so only I would know the difference, but even then the difference would not matter, it would still be the watch you gave me. I’d be paying homage to our What Ifs, Buts and Maybes, and the world would not have to know that months and months and months later I still looked at this watch and it brought back afresh all memories of you.

This Watch You Gave Me…refuses to stop ticking. I reckon the only way to stop it is to take out the battery, trust me, I have tried everything else.

In silence, I can always hear the steady tick-tock, tick-tock, as sure as the sun that rises every day, the same tick-tock that was as sure as you and I, once upon a time.

Sometimes I wonder…is it counting down? Counting down to when we finally come back to our senses and get back together. Or is it counting up? Counting up all the hours, minutes, seconds that are left for us to spend on this earth, not together. Whatever the case, as sure as you and I once were, it continues its tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock…

This Watch You Gave Me…is perhaps just counting, as all watches are meant to. Counting the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months…as they unfold. Counting the new memories, friendships, successes and failures, joys and tears, struggles, just…counting…life…

Counting every new experience, and you happened to be one of them, one of the unforgettable ones.

This Watch You Gave Me, I will keep forever…in a box where all my sentimental mumbo-jumbo goes.

A beautiful shimmery box in my favourite colour. A box where only the most meaningful of memories are relegated to once it is time to forge into the future and make new ones.

I shall be brave and go out there and buy myself a watch for the first time this Christmas(hopefully, if I don’t spend all my money on hair products and styling tools…heh heh!) Maybe it shall be the watch I have dreamt of having for the past couple of years, a man’s watch. A white watch, clearly a man’s watch, Rolex-like…I can’t describe it using words(the irony, huh?), but I have seen it before, at a mall 3 years ago when I thought I should buy it but opted not to, I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Maybe it is now time for me and my white watch, my clearly a man’s watch, the watch of my dreams! I will know it when I see it.

Once a year, or as my temperament demands, I will open my glittery red box of sentimental mumbo-jumbo looking for…something. This normally happens when I’m feeling lost and confused about life, searching for meaning, looking to validate all the past years of my life…I know it will bring fresh tears to my eyes every single time I dig up This Watch You Gave Me. The tear manufacturing plant that I am, it brings tears to my eyes even just to write this.

I know that a year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now, whatever my circumstance, I will look at This Watch You Gave Me and know that once upon a time, I was loved and I loved, loved as surely as the sun rises every morning without fail, loved as surely as the tick-tock of a watch that refuses to be stopped.

Like it? Share it!Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedIn

1 Comment

Add Yours

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *