Sometimes Life Happens(Even at 5 am)


I like early mornings because of the silence. People are asleep, the surroundings are still, my brain is just waking up so there are yet to be a million thoughts cascading over each other in there. The neighbours’ chicken will sometimes be clucking in the morning. Yes, I get it, this is what chicken do, but that does not make it any less annoying. Occasionally, the neighbours’ dog will be barking about one thing or another, probably chasing its tail round and round. We have a dog too, but it is generally silent, docile. The rowdy one, my little Benjamin Button, was exiled to ushago. A story for another day, but yes, our dog is silent. This morning however, I could hear a disturbance from somewhere outside. Voices, sounds that may or may not have been there. You know how sometimes the mind plays tricks on you, like when you could swear you just heard someone say your name but then no one did and you start to low key question your sanity. I ignored the sounds but they persisted so I decided to venture onto the balcony, be nosy, snoop.

Sure enough, turns out there was a source to all this madness. At 5 am, from down the street, I could hear a lady shouting. Unfortunately, no visual, houses and trees were in the way. She was having a conversation with someone else. Whoever that someone was, I imagine that they must have been in a calmer state because their side of the conversation was lost in the silence of the morning.

“How can he lock me out of my own house? My own damn house!”

*repeated banging of what sounded to me like metal, I guess she was banging on the gate of her own damn house*

“I work hard, do you know how hard I work?”

“Macharia, you know me! You know that I am not a violent person.”

That is some of what I caught wind of before I got tired and got back to starting my day. It was 5 am in the morning though, have I mentioned that? I wish I knew what the events leading up to this were. 5 am in the morning is a very uncharacteristic time for these kinds of brawls in my opinion. On a Wednesday morning no less, right in the middle of the work week, what?

Such a situation, first, only makes sense to me if one or more of the parties are drunk. I cannot understand how, otherwise, things can escalate so irrationally. In my rational mind, nothing is solved by shouting and kicking and screaming and throwing punches except perhaps settling who the most psychotic and out of control one is. So it is Wednesday, which reduces the chances that this lady is drunk, although with people you never know. Then, it is 5am. Even if she is only just getting home, haven’t the hours for leaving the bar/club ended by then? I mean, on a Tuesday night, where were you till 5 am?

Maybe she just got home. Maybe whoever she is fighting with is the one that just got home. If that is the case though, how is it that she is the one outside banging the gate and trying to get in? Are they a couple? She mentioned her house and that she works hard so I am assuming this is not someone living in their mother’s house. When you get home drunk while living in your mothers house, you do not do so kicking and screaming. You do so with you figurative tail between your legs. Meekly, you try to sneak in as silently as possible, which is a challenge given the impaired co-ordination and judgment, so you settle for trying to minimize the things you knock over. You lock yourself in your room and avoid your mother the next morning, putting off the eventuality of her bringing up the hours you got home and how you even got stuck in the toilet and could not unlock the door to let yourself out. Do not ask me how I know these things in such great detail. Just take my word for it, that was not a lady living in her mother’s house.

Has she been backed up against a wall? You know, sometimes life happens. I keep saying this and thinking this and occasionally feeling like life has just happened to me, but I really do not think it has happened to me quite yet. I remember watching a movie called “Why Did I Get Married”. Both the first and the second. Yes, they are movies so these are not actual happenings, but they could be. They are not like, say, James Bond movies where Agent 007 does impossible flips and twists and turns and then dodges all 10 rounds from a .22 revolver that only holds 9 rounds and then is grazed, narrowly missed, by the 11th round(I had to Google these details about guns, just in case you are wondering). Neither is it like Harry Potter where combinations of words, Wingardium Leviosa, and hand movements while wielding a magic stick, wand, will make things start hovering. (Although, let the record reflect that I believe in the world of HP 100%, I am in fact not a muggle(avoiding using the word witch here cause that might be interpreted very…unlike what I intend), my letter to go to Hogwarts just got lost in the mail, so I ended up in Kianda.

“Why Did I Get Married” depicts highly probably stories that could happen to any one of us. That have happened to some of us.

If you have not watched them, spoiler alert! The story revolves around four couples. They each have their own troubles in their marriages. The couples are friends so every year they go on holiday, spend time together, catch up, take a break from their busy lives and conveniently, because this is after all a movie, over this period is when all their individual marriage issues are magnified! Infidelity, money, shared responsibilities, kids, loneliness, lack of affection, growing apart,,, blah blah blah, the works.

The issues they face in their marriages are not unique to TV screens and movie scripts, they are real and many couples have to deal with them. The way things escalate in these movies though, I always find myself looking at them and thinking about how that could never be me. How I could not possibly be that woman that completely loses control and is breaking down, wailing in the living room, baseball bat in hand, smashing the glass coffee table and the chandeliers and anything breakable that can be broken with that baseball bat.(Anyone picturing Beyonce and ‘Hot Sauce’ yet? The reference is to Janet Jackson in one of the movies though.)

That situation seems to me like the very edge! It is also that place that I do not imagine myself ever getting to, just like I distance myself from the situation of the 5 am shouting lady. No one ever sees themselves ending up in these situations though, do they? No one gets married imagining that 3 years down the line they will be the sole breadwinner and have to support a spouse who is emotionally distant in addition to the kids. You get the idea, no?

I would not be surprised to discover that I perhaps walk past her occasionally, this 5 am shouting lady. That on an average day I would find her well dressed, looking respectable, heading off to work. A woman who has her life together. Someone who I possibly exchange pleasantries with, even though we do not actually know each other, because we see each other so often. This morning, maybe life just happened to her, the way life often does.

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