I love kids. The best part of that has to be the fact that they always love me back. Unrequited love is another hard situation. Kids are easy to please. Just get down to their level and engage. If they are still at the illegibly mumbling stage, I always just go ahead and engage back in natural human language. (Of course true child lovers in touch with their inner child will know the kid is actually making loads of sense. Those of you that have fully been assimilated into the growing up trap have lost your childhood magic, I maintain that I still have mine.)
Kids. I love their big, alien-looking heads, their old-person wrinkly necks and bums, their tiny fingers that look so yum you could possibly throw one into your mouth, just to see if is tastes as good as it looks. Am I coming off as creepy yet? Okay, I stop now.
For me, kids have always been easy to please. Pick them up, show them cool stuff, intriguing stuff, like your puppies. Or a mirror, sometimes they are so surprised to see themselves. Okay, so maybe they don’t even know that is them in the mirror. They might just be fascinated to note that there’s two of you. The one they see right next to them and the one across from you, in the mirror. Give them shiny toys that make sounds. Or simply play peek-a-boo. So easy to please.
If they have acquired the skill of human language, listen to them. A lot of them like to talk on and on and on. About colours and shapes. About fairy tales. About whether they will let you be their friend or not. About whether they will tell on you to their mother or to their kindergarten teacher cause you said the word ‘stupid’ and at that level to say stupid is sacrilegious.
Then there’s MK. Oh how I have pined for this child’s affection. He just isn’t having it. I bring my A-game, every single time! He is still not moved. I get on my knees, roll over, wag my tail, give him my biggest friendliest smile. Nothing. He eyes me as though he is thinking, ‘Look at this idiot,’ and then reach for his mother, or his father.
What am I doing wrong?
* Lifts up arm and low-key sniffs armpit *
Is it that I smell?
Why are all my usual tricks not working? What is this feeling? Defeat? Returns to adult non-magic-ness with my tail between my legs. In the movie that is my life, at this point the sound track is a mellow, slowed down version of Beyonce’s ‘Why Don’t You Love Me’ song.
Why don’t you love me,
Tell me, baby(MK), why don’t you love me,
When I make me so damn easy to love!
There was this one time though, one time when MK and I just hit it off. Looking back now, sometimes I wonder if I was dreaming. I have a few pictures from that day though, at least I will always have that. Pictures of him and I smiling, happy, hitting it off like old friends who met in the womb all those years ago and are just now rekindling those connections.
He is not like this with everyone. I see him with his other aunts and uncles and they hit it off. I suspect that unlike other children, with whom bonds can be signed, sealed and delivered in less than an hour, he is of a different kind. The kind that shipping takes sijui 6 months. And not that its an assured 6 months and then you are best buddies, cause if you stay too long without continuing to build on the little that you started out with, then whatever tentative deal was there becomes null and void.
Time to buckle down and try put in the time. YouTube-ing magic tricks, learning how to make balloon animals, taking up ventriloquism and ordering accompanying toys so I can put up shows for him. I will make that 3 year old love me, even if it is when he is 18 years old and only likes me because I am the aunt that takes him out and buys him alcohol.