Kat and the Cats


It’s 6.32am. I am leaving the house 17 minutes later than I should for my morning run. This means everything about my day is going to be slightly delayed but, if nothing else, I must run. It makes me feel good. So good. Plus 1.7km is such a short distance if you think about it and 11 minutes, the duration of my run, is nothing, a tiny little drop if you look at it in respect of the fact that I have 24 hours in the day.

Cat 1:

Yes! Yes! Yezzzzzz! Finally some good fortune. I have finally found a house where the door leading to the inner workings is open. Access to rubbish, leftovers, if Lady Luck decides to glance my way a second time, I may even find a freshly fried omelet unattended on a kitchen counter somewhere in there.


I get to the outer door, it is open. Unusual. Mum is out walking Andrew to the bus stop. I suppose they must be the ones that left it open, by mistake. When the door is in full sight, I notice a cat right beyond it. As though the cat brings an extra layer to my perception of the scene, I notice a black rubbish paper bag, filled and sealed, about to be put out in anticipation of Monday garbage collection. It has a suspicious tear on the side. Some rubbish is sticking out. I glance back towards the cat, accusingly. It must be the cat, right? The cat is gone. How did it disappear so quickly? I run out of the outer door, hoping to catch a glimpse of where it has disappeared to, no luck. It is too fast.

Cat 1:

I take off at the sight of the human. Just my luck. Just like Lady Luck. Ah! Lady Luck, what did I do to you? Why do you taunt me so! Why, after 2 days of eating out of ditches and drains, would you avail to me a fresh rubbish bag, all for my perusal, only to have someone rudely interrupt me before I had even gotten a taste of anything good? I scale over the fence, onto the neighbour’s lawn and far away from the human. I hear the gate on the other side and sense calm soon after. I head back to the previous house, hoping the door is still open. It is not. Well played Lady Luck. Cruel, cruel Lady Luck.


Yes! Yes! Feeling pumped! Loving the chill the morning air is slowly causing to creep onto my cheeks, my nose already feels like a frozen ornament on my face. I love it all! Such positive vibes this morning. Excited about my Spanish exam this coming weekend. Excited about yet another Monday. Excited about successfully waking up at 3am and managing to follow the schedule I set out for those wee hours. Pumped. Pumped to be starting my Monday, my week, so strong! Pounding that pavement with my Nikes like it’s going out of style. I go thundering round a corner and spot another…

Cat 2:

I’m making my way home from an eventful night. That cat from across the road is quite the feisty one. Always keeps me entertained, even though all my advances thus far have been rejected, I will try again tomorrow night. For now, I must get back to my litter box. My bowels are getting quite congested and, curse my training, I am unable to help myself anywhere besides the litter box set out for me at my owner’s house. Waiting for the road to clear so that I can cross, I feel the pavement pounding. Trembling! The vibrations get stronger and stronger. Whatever is coming, it is coming my way. Curious, I stand absolutely still and wait to at least see what is coming before deciding my next plan of action.

(Curiosity killed the cat. Doesn’t this cat know that?)

A human!
It is headed right for me! Why? What did I do to it? Perhaps it is the owner of the feisty cat from across the road, coming after me. I make a run for it, cross the road, I am ashamed to say, like a chicken. The oncoming traffic is nothing compared to the wrath of a scorned female feline owner.


* car screeeeccchhhhhhes *

What is it with cats and taking off, it seems, at all cost? That one nearly died to just get away from me. This must be how road kill comes about. I don’t suppose animals are normally taking a breather on the road, waiting for some driver to come and run them over. I also don’t suppose drivers go swerving from side to side on the road, chasing down animals, driven by a menacing desire to leave something bloody and fleshy splattered on the road.

But all that, is none of my business. Morning run in full swing, creative juices flowing, churning, dreaming up supposed impossibilities for me to crush!

Cat 3:

Human coming my way. Hmm…I hate it when they appear, right when I’m comfortably settled and about to begin my morning grooming ritual. Oh well, what to do. I’d better get going. The speed at which this one is moving, I’m not sure I’d be able to get away in time if it decided to come for me.


Okay, what is going on this morning? This cannot all be just coincidental. Am I on some twisted reality TV show for cats? Feels like I’ve got cat surveillance on me.

Cat 1:

I’ve been sitting at this vantage point almost all day! Watching the house where I almost got a good meal this morning. Watching and waiting for another chance. So far, no luck. Okay, so I could have also gone searching for some other food opportunities but, the rains. This spot at least affords me the advantage of being warm and sheltered from the rain with the added possibility of perhaps also getting fed. 1 out of 3 basic human needs, with the possibility of a 2nd. Doing well for a cat. Very well.
I hear a noise and immediately peek, it is the gate of the adjoining house. My expectations rise, perhaps whoever this is, on their way in, will leave that one door open again.


(Wayyyy later in the evening, coming home from work)

I unlock the gate, open it, step through and a flicker of movement on the neighbour’s roof catches my eye. A cat! This time, I am sure it is the one I spotted in the morning. The first one I spotted in the morning. I wonder what it is thinking. Does it even think? Does it recognise me from earlier in the day?

Cat 1:

Hmm…it is that cursed human.

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